Paul
writes – One of the tremendous privileges of life is people
allowing you someway into the mystery of who they are, the mystery and the
complexity of their lives. Monday
evening, this week, was one of those special moments, a chance to sit and listen, and a
chance to be drawn a little way into another’s life and indeed, their
perspective on life, the values that compel them, and the life stories and
experiences that animate and shape them.
That this is a privilege, a gift if you like, is what makes these rare occasions precious. We are each a wonderful mystery – a mystery to ourselves, and also to others. Yet, on these occasions, the mystery that is the other, the mystery that is a little way opened to us, extends to us the possibility of healing, the possibility of seeing ourselves or some dimension of ourselves anew. Maybe too it offers the invitation to us to grow a little, to sink a little below the surface of our lives, and to deepen who we are?
Monday reminded me of that. Pip reminded me of that.
One theme woven through that conversation was how we see the world and how we see our lives, particularly with respect to that which seems adverse and unfair.
John O’Donohue in his wonderful little book Anam Cara: Spiritual Wisdom from the Celtic World reminds us of this as well. On pages 85-93 he reflects beautifully on vision – the ways in which we, sadly, so often see our worlds and those around us. He begins, “…Many limited and negative lives issue directly from… narrowness of vision” and then continues by describing what he terms “styles of vision”. For some of us we look a our world and those around us with “fearful eyes”- “all [we] see and concentrate on are things that can damage and threaten [us].” For others, or at other times, it’s “judgmental eyes” through which we see. We are always “excluding and separating”, and therefore “never see in a compassionate or celebratory way.” Through the eyes of judgement we give expression to the doubt and deep insecurity of our lives and are unable to see the nuances of truth and other persons through the lens of paradox.
At other times, we see and engage our world through the “eyes of indifference”. “Nothing calls or awakens…” Indifference places us “beyond the frontiers of compassion, healing and love.”
For some the eyes through which they see are the “eyes of resentment”. “Everything is begrudged. People who have allowed the canker of resentment into their vision can never enjoy who they are or what they have.” Who they are and what they have is never enough. They struggle to embody gratitude and to live in the present moment - a seeming lack of fulfillment or success in the past gives birth to future expectations of continued disappointment.
Then of course, there are the “eyes of inferiority” – “everyone is greater; others are more beautiful, brilliant, and gifted than we are.
And, most importantly, the eyes and vision so many of us long for are the “eyes of love”. “If we could
look at the world in a loving way”, O’Donohue writes, “then the world would
rise up before us full of invitation, possibility and depth.” The past would be gently accepted. “The loving eye”,
he says, “can even coax pain, hurt, and violence [especially that we direct
toward our selves] towards transfiguration and renewal.”
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