Prodigal Kiwi(s) Blog

Self Acceptance and Self Knowing

"…Self Acceptance and Self Knowing. Allowing God to accept me just as I am helps me accept myself in the same way. This is essential for genuine spiritual transformation. Self-acceptance and self-knowing are deeply interconnected. To truly know something about yourself, you must accept it. Even things about yourself that you most deeply want to change must first be accepted - even embraced. Self-transformation is always preceded by self-acceptance. And the self that you must accept is the self that you actually and truly are - before you start your self-improvement projects! Any hope that you can know yourself without accepting the things about you that you wish were not true is an illusion. Reality must be embraced before it can be changed. Our knowing of ourselves will remain superficial until we are willing to accept ourselves as God accepts us - fully and unconditionally, just as we are. 

Gods' acceptance of us as we are is not in any way in conflict with Divine longing for our wholeness. Nor is our acceptance of our self. But until we are prepared to accept the self we actually are, we block God's transforming work of making us into our true self that is hidden in God. We must befriend the self we seek to know. We must receive it with hospitality, not hostility. No one - not even your own self - can be known apart from such a welcome. If God loves and accepts you as a sinner, how can you do less? You can never be other than who you are until you are willing to embrace the reality of who you are. Only then can you truly become who you are most deeply called to be…"

David Benner, The Gift of Being Yourself. Intervarsity Press, Downers Grove. 2004. 56 -57

 

Richard Rohr: What is Masculine Spirituality?

At Greenbelt 2003 Franciscan Priest Fr. Richard Rohr OFM delivered an interesting talk under the rubric, “What is masculine spirituality?” One of my person highlights was having a coffee and conversation with Richard a few years back and one of the topics we talked about was centred on a very similar question, “what are men looking for and/or needing in order to increasingly live more deeply, fully, and wholly into their humanity and into their relatedness with others?”

Rohr, not in this talk, describes the male's journey as a double-movement, downwards and inwards from “The Common Masculine” to “Shallow Masculine” and on to “Deep Masculine”. 

This lecture doesn’t get at all of these issues, but it offers somewhat of an overview of the terrain that could be crossed, and will suggest paths that the interested male could begin to explore if (and it’s a BIG “if”) they were so inclined to face into themselves, their woundedness, their pain, and their longings with a view to becoming freer, more whole and more fully alive, i.e. more who they most deeply and uniquely are. Indeed to become more wholly and healthily male, as much for themselves as others in their lives. 

You can find Richard’s talk here. 

“…There are two ways of being a prophet. One is to tell the enslaved that they can be free. It is the difficult path of Moses. The second is to tell those who think they’re free that they are in fact enslaved. This is the even more difficult path of Jesus.”

- Richard Rohr, from The Wild Man’s Journey: Reflections on Males Spirituality, p. 41.  

 

Dressed in Gentleness

“Once in a while we meet a gentle person. Gentleness is a virtue hard to find in a society that admires toughness and roughness. We are encouraged to get things done and to get them done fast, even when people get hurt in the process. Success, accomplishment, and productivity count. But the cost is high. There is no place for gentleness in such a milieu. Gentle is the one who does "not break the crushed reed, or snuff the faltering wick" (Matthew 12:20). Gentle is the one who is attentive to the strengths and weaknesses of the other and enjoys being together more than accomplishing something. A gentle person treads lightly, listens carefully, looks tenderly, and touches with reverence. A gentle person knows that true growth requires nurture, not force. Let's dress ourselves with gentleness. In our tough and often unbending world our gentleness can be a vivid reminder of the presence of God among us.” 

Henri Nouwen

 

James Alison, Joseph Ratzinger, and John Milbank.

James Alison is a theologian who often figures in posts on this site. I was therefore interested when Peter Carrell drew attention to a recent written interview with Alison – and a recent essay by John Milbank – Gay Marriage and the Future of Human Sexuality. Alison’s interview with Brett Selkeld, Milbank’s essay and Peter’s brief reflections are well worth a read. 

Here’s an excerpt from the interview: 

“…Salkeld: Can you tell us a little about your work in theology? What excites you? What questions do you pursue?

Alison: What has excited me ever since I came across René Girard’s thought has been the fecundity for theology of Girard’s mimetic insight concerning desire and violence. Thanks to Girard’s insight into the scapegoat mechanism at work throughout human culture it has become possible to make sense of Jesus’ death as being salvific for us in a way that is entirely orthodox and takes us away from imputing any vengeance or retribution to God. Girard has also opened up for me a very rich hermeneutic for Scripture, one that avoids the temptations to Marcionism on the one hand and Fundamentalism on the other. These three areas, God, Salvation, and Scripture, are the areas I pursue most relentlessly. The paradigm shift Girard enabled for me has led me to develop an adult introduction to the Christian faith, a course of twelve sessions that some friends are working to make available to a wider public. I hope this will be a contribution to the New Evangelization to which we are called—one that is genuinely good news and not bogged down in moralism.

I’ve also been trying for some time to make the case that the church can indeed, from within its own resources, move out of a false, and often a hateful, characterization of and set of attitudes toward gay and lesbian people. I’m convinced that no new evangelization will get very far while its principal proponents, apparently unaware of the power of the gospel they preach, remain hobbled by this sacralized taboo. More and more young people seem to pick this up very quickly…”

The Resurrection: Holding Onto Christ

“Life is unpredictable.  We can be happy one day and sad the next, healthy one day and sick the next, rich one day and poor the next, alive one day and dead the next.  So who is there to hold on to?  Who is there to feel secure with?  Who is there to trust at all times?  Only Jesus, the Christ.  He is our Lord, our shepherd, our rock, our stronghold, our refuge, our brother, our guide, and our friend.  He came from God to be with us.  He died for us, he was raised from the dead to open for us the way to God, and he is seated at God's right hand to welcome us home.  With Paul, we must be certain that "neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nothing already in existence and nothing still to come, nor any power, nor the heights nor the depths, nor any created thing whatever, will be able to come between us and the love of God, known to us in Christ Jesus our Lord"  (Romans 8:38-39).”

Henri Nouwen

 

Maggi Dawn on Sabbath & Church

Continuing to catch up with talks from Greenbelt Gatherings, I’ve been listening to my friend Maggi Dawn from 2003. Her talk being titled: Church in the Noughties. It’s one talk, but has two themes running through it. The first is to do with the Fourth of the Ten Commandments – the “4^th” having to do with Sabbath. Maggi traces the history – a “whistle-stop journey” – of Sabbath from the Old Testament (or “First Testament”) to the Reformation (Post-Reformation). While the second theme, building on the first, was Maggi thought’s on the importance of gathered Church with reflections on “alt-worship”, “emergent church” and other “experiments” on the edge or beyond the edge of traditional “Sunday” church.  It was the latter part of the talk that I found most interesting, confirming for me that my own thinking about established church & new forms of church follow Maggi’s very closely. 

“…What shape should work, Church and the Sabbath take in 21st century, western culture – post-evangelical, alternative, emerging, liquid, virtual? Should we abandon traditional Sunday worship or fight to revive it?” 

It’s not a long talk, but you’ll find it here.  

p.s. If you like what she has to say, check out her books too. She’s a very gifted writer and communicator (see her blog).

Photo credit - Jonny Baker.

Thomas Keating: Psychology and the Spiritual Journey

I attach (below) a PDF (source details on it) of a short reflecting by Thomas Keating on psychology and the spiritual journey. A number of you will find it interesting, and certainly for me, it’s a juncture I’m very interested in. 

Here’s a rather lengthy excerpt from Thomas Keating: 

“…The field of psychology as an experiential science has to be taken into account by the world's religions and by those who are seeking personal transformation. To take an example from Roman Catholic theology, the consequences of original sin are believed to be three: illusion, concupiscence, and weakness of will. Illusion means that we do not know where true happiness lies and seek it in the wrong places. Concupiscence means that we pursue alternate means of happiness as far as they can be found in our environment. Finally, weakness of will means that if we ever discover where true happiness lies, the will is too weak to pursue it. 

…The science of psychology has given us a more thorough diagnosis of the human condition. Besides the consequences of original sin on the conscious level, we now know from the findings of psychology that the unconscious contains all kinds damaging tendencies— repression of traumatic events and feelings, compensatory activity for the privation of instinctual needs, and many other consequences— that obviously bear on the development of the spiritual life and on one's ability to practice one's beliefs… 

…The spiritual journey presumes a certain ego strength and hence any movement toward genuine human development is growth in the spiritual life. The healing of compulsions and addictions is conducive if not necessary for sustained spiritual growth. Thus, the treatment for various forms of neurosis must go hand in hand with the effort to practice the Christian virtues… 

…The spiritual journey aims at ever deeper levels of healing because it has as its goal the transformation of the faculties of intellect and will by grace in such a way that we can truly share the divine life and love. Psychological counseling and treatment primarily at helping the person lead a normal human life and to relate well in society. These goals are not contradictory. The spiritual journey under the influence of the Spirit simply has higher objectives and hence, the healing of the unconscious is effected at ever deepening levels through the so-called Dark Nights of St. John of the Cross. I understand the psychological unconscious to contain all the events of one's life, especially repressed emotional experiences that were never dealt with or resolved. These hidden and negative emotional energies constitute what Jung called the shadow side of our personality… 

…The best way I know of testing the theory of the Divine Therapy is by observing and reflecting on one's own experience [Very “Ignatian” – Paul]. This reflection would probably be superficial unless one is sincerely committed to spiritual growth. My ideas about the emotional programs for happiness is a combination of the traditional Christian teachings regarding the capital sins, especially the handling of thoughts and emotions as taught by Evagrius who sums up the experience of the Desert Fathers and Mothers of the fourth century, and the new science of developmental psychology. For example, the term "emotional programs for happiness" is a psychological way of explaining concupiscence as it breaks down into the first three energy centers which later develops into the seven capital sins. The capital sins are not actual sins but tendencies to sin. When the frustration of these instinctual needs becomes acute, there is a tendency to trample on the needs and rights of others, as well as our own true good, in order to get what we want or get away from what we don't want…” 

Fr. Thomas Keating OCSO.

Download Thomas Keating - Psychology and the Spiritual Journey

Rowan Williams: Kiss and Tell

I’ve been listening to Rowan Williams these last few days – well actually one 2002 talk several times. I’ve listened a lot to him over the years, but his 2002 Greenbelt talk – Kiss and Tell: Intimacy and Mystical Experience - is one of the very best talks I’ve heard him deliver, and as I’m discovering it benefits from repeated listening, not because its technical (and in that sense complex), but because its simultaneously accessible, profoundly human, and yet also deep – it’s content circling around the profundity of God’s love for us, and love for God, and the importance of human love and loving. He explores why we turn so often to the language of human love, loving, and intimacy to talk about and explore our experience of God.    

For me I couldn’t but help hear St. Paul and his letter to the churches in Corinth (1 Cor. 13:1-7). I’m glad too that over the years I’ve had the likes of Williams, the Christian Mystics and many other wise persons walking along side me, helping me change and deepen my experience of what it means to be fully human; what it means to be alive; and what it means to truly love. But, the journey is still not over, the unfolding continues. 

Other strands woven through the fabric of his talk:

• The importance of the Christian mystics, in particular: St. John of the Cross & St. Bernard of Clairvaux.
• The Song of Songs and the very human acts of yearning, passion, and hunger for another person – for love, and to be loved and wanted for who we are.
• Human loving, relating, and intimacy.
• The absence and withdrawal of love.
• The importance of love maturing and deepening.
• The mystery and depth of our humanity – there is always more; we’re always more than can be seen and experienced. The multi-dimensional, multi-layered realities of being fully and wholly human.
• The importance of the longevity of love and loving – love as something that matures and enlarges – enlarges our relating to self, others, and God. Love as a journey of unfolding.
• The inevitability that to truly love will also, as a consequence, entails the experience of pain. To feel no deep, wordless pain in our human relating and within the context of human intimacy is, as a corollary, not to have truly or deeply loved. Love hurts, but love is the source of the most profound and sublime joy, peace and deep contentment. 

If you haven’t heard Williams start with this talk (downloadable here), and then carry on with this Holy Week talks: here (the Narnia stories from 2011) and via here (on growing in prayer from 2009). 

Listening as Spiritual Hospitality

Feeling deeply listened to, and really heard is one of the greatest gifts we can receive from someone else. Conversley, when we feel unlistened too, it can be one of lifes great hurts. Al Roxburgh used to talk about "listening another person, or persons into free speech". To do that for another person is a wonderful gift. We listen so lovingly and gently that they feel safe enough to open their hearts and their thinking... and as they speak, their words and feelings attaching to those words work their transformative 'magic' in them. That we have to talk about the importance of listening seems to me to suggest that in these contemporary self-centred times, deep and honest listening is a rare gift, and when we have friends that can extend that gift to us, we have many many reasons to feel very grateful. To listen well, to honor the person we're listening too is to love.  

“…To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements, or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept. Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that, those who are listened to start feeling accepted, start taking their words more seriously and discovering their own true selves.  Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully, and even to dare to be silent with you…”

Henri Nouwen

 

Getting Out from Under the Mitre: Archbishop Rowan Williams Stepping Down as Archbishop of Canterbury

“…The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams has today revealed that he is to step down from his role at the end of the year. 

His decision comes after 10 years in the post and after accepting the position of Master of Magdalene College, Cambridge. 

In a statement issued from Lambeth Palace, the Primate of All England said, “It has been an immense privilege to serve as Archbishop of Canterbury over the past decade, and moving on has not been an easy decision. During the time remaining there is much to do, and I ask your prayers and support in this period and beyond… 

…Archbishop Rowan’s announcement means that ACC-15 in New Zealand during the last quarter of this year will be his last as President of the ACC…” 

Greenbelt’s Paul Northrop, had this to say about the resignation. It captures several of his ‘hidden’ qualities: 

Personally speaking, during Rowan’s tenure as Archbishop, I have been saddened to all-but lose sight of that wonderful priestly poet and theologian who I was so excited to see first come into office, as he has struggled under the sheer weight of the institution that is the Church of England. 

As a post-grad theology student in the 90s, I remember Rowan, as Archbishop of Wales then, coming to a Theology Reading Group I was part of. There, he sat with just six of us around a table and genially answered our questions to him about his book On Christian Theology. He had time for us. I was then, and have been ever since, a fan of his theology, his poetry, his thoughtful integrity as a person – and, yes, his godliness. 

My hope for Rowan as he readies himself for the move to Cambridge at the end of the year, is that there he will find the space and time to recover his vocation as poet, priest and teacher. The Church still needs to hear his voice and pay attention to his witness. And, who knows, perhaps the playful and prophetic dimensions of his artistry might again regain their power at the margins. In other words, my hope is that this change in his role might, oddly, give Rowan more not less influence…” 

As a recent reviewer of Ben Myers’ new book on Rowan Williams’ theology (which is outstanding, by the way. I recommend it highly) wrote: 

“One of the few missing features – perhaps weaknesses – of the book is a lack of notice that +Rowan usually speaks far more clearly than he writes. Williams’ writing can often seem a difficult, dry, protracted and sometimes depressing exercise in spiritual renunciation of the fantasies of the heart and mind. By contrast his presence in person is attentive, humorous and kind. There is a self-forgetfulness (literally a forgetfulness of self) to the archbishop that is very attractive…”

Update - 25th March 2012

Ben Myers (author of book to the right) offers a few thoughts on what kind of an academic William's will be at Cambridge. You can find it here.