Kelvin Wright, the Anglican Bishop of Dunedin reflects on “attachment”. My attention was drawn in particular by a conversation I had with a friend a couple of months ago. But it was also drawn by some reading I’ve been doing on “projections” and therapy, specifically Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Theory.
“…If you look carefully, you will see that there is one thing and only one thing that causes unhappiness. And that is attachment. What is attachment? An emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular thing or some person you cannot be happy. "
"Look at it this way. You see persons and things not as they are but as you are. If you wish to meet them as they are you must attend to your attachments and the fears that your attachments generate. Because when you look at life it is these attachments and fears that will decide what you notice and what you block out. Whatever you notice then commands your attention... you have an illusory version of the people and things around you. The more you live with this distorted version the more you become convinced that it is the only true picture of the world because your attachments and fears continue to process incoming data in a way which will reinforce your picture"