On Love: Another Conversation with Alain de Botton.
Today, another fascinating and deeply insightful Design Matter’s conversation. This time Debbie Millman talks to philosopher and author Alain de Botton. The conversation is a wide-ranging overview of love and relationship. I’ve previously featured de Botton here, and you’ll find the Design Matters 48-minute conversation here (downloadable via iTunes). I found it really useful, and somewhat freeing, culturally speaking.
De Botton’s book The Course of Love: a novel, incorporating paragraphs (in different font) reflecting on different aspects of love and relationships) is sitting opposite me as I type. A local library copy, which I’ve dipped into but won’t get to read in full at the moment – too many other books on the go!
His earlier novel on love, funnily enough, called On Love: A Novel (1993) is well worth a read too. I’ve been really impressed with De Botton’s insights on love and relationships, all the more so, when you realise On Love: A Novel was written while in his mid-twenties (de Botton was born in December 1969).
“To be loved by someone is to realize how much they share the same needs that lie at the heart of our own attraction to them. Albert Camus suggested that we fall in love with people because, from the outside, they look so whole, physically whole and emotionally 'together' - when subjectively we feel dispersed and confused. We would not love if there were no lack within us, but we are offended by the discovery of a similar lack in the other. Expecting to find the answer, we find only the duplicate of our own problem” ― Alain de Botton, On Love.
He has a strong commitment to the development of emotional intelligence, and this is reflected in his founding of The School of Life. A site I highly recommend too.