A legacy of love has turned into a legacy of abuse.

 

Alan writes - Jesus welcomed children. He told his followers to welcome children. He had a child stand by him while the disciples argued about who was the greatest. As they argued his answer was obvious. He called the children to him when the disciples wanted to send them away. But most significantly in a culture that de-valued children he said “better to have a millstone tied round your neck than hurt one of these little ones” (see Matt 18v6; Mark 9v42; or Luke 17v2). His honouring, love, care and welcome to children was revolutionary.

Sadly children and the followers of Jesus are no longer automatically a safe combination. In New Zealand who would trust their child with a Christian leader? A legacy of love has turned into a legacy of abuse. It is time to grieve, to put on sack cloth and ashes. A time to repent on behalf of the churches. It is a time to bring in those who wail.  Children’s homes, schools. Churches, youth groups, political parties, brigades, Sunday schools – sadly any Christian event with children has become suspicious. No, they have become more than suspicious! – they have become known as places of abuse. Tried and proven in court and broadcast by the media.

I remember meeting a senior staff member of the sex-offender’s unit in a national prison. Cynically he commented ‘there are more Christians here than the average church’. He was right - disgustingly so!

Sadly those who speak most loudly about the sexual sins of others also tend to be less aware of their own sexual deviance than they are of others. For them evil is always someone else’s problem not their own. There-in-lies the danger. Tragically we (Christians – at least in New Zealand) don’t even question their moralistic stances and ask why are they so heated up about the sin of others? And sadly the ones who speak most loudly about the sexual sins of others are too often found to be the very ones who are destroying the lives of the innocent. 

I am appalled, horrified and completely gutted by the number of people I have met with, young and old, male and female children who have been abused – sexually abused by Christian leaders. Abuse of a child, especially sexual abuse, is crippling, destroying of trust; it undermines identity formation, stunts emotional development and ruins future relationships. Surely we Christians need to grieve the enormous pain caused to so many by a few unchecked Christian leaders?

While the impact on the children who are abused is catastrophic, the impact on the church is no less. All Christian communities, churches and ministers are stigmatized by the actions of a vocal minority. And who can blame the community for the labels and disdain with which they hold the church. Too little has been said and done to ensure such abuse is not perpetuated by successive generations of Christian leaders. It is time to speak out, to change our systems and to protect the naïve and innocent wonder and faith of children.

[Image, up there on the left, from Acclaim Images. Photograph taken by Sara Richards - © Sara Richards.]

Comments

[Paul Fromont]

Thanks Alan. I was interested in statement offered by the sex offenders unit staff member
- "'...there are more Christians here than the average church’." I wonder to what degree the so-called 'Christian' approach to, and understanding of "sexuality" has contributed to the inordinate number of 'Christians' in these institutions? We seem ill at ease with the subject and related topics such as sexuality and prayer, sexuality and spiritual formation etc.

Yesterday I was just flicking through Lauren F. Winners recently published book titled: Real Sex. I also thought of Kenneth Leech's wonderful essay "'The Carnality pf Grace': Sexuality, Spirituality and Pastoral Ministry' - which I briefly quoted from in a post earlier this year.

Both help me go some way toward suspecting that the church has a lot of work to do in order to recover a Christian understanding of sexuality and the corrollaries that flow from that.

[hello]

sexuality and prayer? I would like to see a article or a writing on that....

[Paul Fromont]

Hello

I was thinking "sexuality" under the larger heading of Spirituality and Desire. An excellent book in this regards is "Befriending our Desires" by Philip Sheldrake. David Runcorn, in his book "Choice, Desire, and the Will of God" touches on this area. As does Richard Foster in his book "Money, Sex, and Power."

[Dana Ames]

Thank you both for writing about this.

If you can get it down your way, Ronald Rolheiser's "The Holy Longing" (Doubleday 1999) is excellent. Subtitle is "The Search for a Christian Spirituality." He is a Catholic priest and of course writes from that perspective, but he's not dogmatic in his expression. He actually grapples with the notion of desire, something Protestant Westerners seem avoid (when not condemning it). Beginning with the centrality of Jesus' Incarnation, he goes on to discuss ecclesiology, the Paschal Mystery (for him including grief and process), justice/peacemaking and sexuality. Many rich thoughts,and jumping-off points for further thought and ramifications in life.

Dana Ames